How ambitious is too ambitious?
I realize it has been over a year since my last post. I think of writing every week right when I need to start on the work for the week's meeting with my adviser (this post just happens to be the first successful attempt). Now comes the hard part.
Lemme see..(stop if > 3 pauses)
pause..
Women (hmm..)
longer pause.....
pause...
pau. oh I already did 3.
Women it is. Poor you.
Women. Fascinating creatures us :). Anyhow, I've had this piece I have wanted to write for a while now. How ambitious is too ambitious especially when you are a woman and all the usual constraints that come with being an Indian one at that. Add in the eccentricities of being me. And that I'm going through some kind of existential crisis about now.
So, I've been wrestling with my priorities these past few years.
a) Is it right to put the rest of your life on hold till you get to the peak of your career success (if there is one in sight)? And then hope to find Mr.Perfect. You know, let a process run to termination and schedule the next. Setting career as a Hard Real time process and bumping its priority. Average process wait time is baaaad. But you get what you want. Maybe.
b) Or is it just better to live a so called "balanced" life where you get married at a normal age, get a regular job, a regular house with a white picket fence with a dog and a cat and a ferret and whatever. Multiprocessing. Decent overall parameters. But fails as a Real Time system. Hah.
If a is your answer, consider these.
What if you take too long to get where you want to get professionally ?
I think of this when my code doesn't compile and I am fighting a deadline. A friend suggested an easy way out. Marry a millionaire and shop forever :D. Sounds super sometimes. I've even thought of a farmer who will never ever have to write a program in his life. I should be able to manage raising crops and cattle with him I think.
Is it sensible to waste the best years of your youth slogging and then you realize that you have missed out on life?
It is supposedly common thinking that my success is gonna scare off potential suitors. I've heard it said and I quote "Most men like their wives pretty, young and not more smarter than them."
If b is your choice, then
What of some of us who are fundamentally incapable of uttering the c word without shuddering. Or are afraid of a married life. Really, Marriages fail for the stupidest of reasons.
My answer has firmly been a for as long as I can remember. But is that the right choice is a whole different thing altogether.
In the grand scheme of things, is glory all that important? Or is there a compromise I cant think of ?
Any heuristics to optimize my life's throughput ?
Sigh. I need therapy.
posted by Sin @ 12:58 PM
11 Comments:
Neither (a) nor (b)!
My take is certainly not give career so much priority. Life is much more than that.. and these are good years you should look back at! but that doesn't mean get married and live a "normal" life!! explore the world travel, hang out, make friends, have boyfriends and girlfriends, just enjoy the time.. see if you find Mr.Perfect ... balance everything but don't commit to anything :)
This is your time enjoy every minute! Let there be love, happiness, joy, excitement, heartbreak, disappointments, failures, heartaches, successes... invite everything with open arms - both on professional and personal fronts! Live life fully every minute.. these are memories you will cherish and treasure for long times to come.
Happiness lies in waking up to the hope and possibility of a better day.
Never EVER live life planing for future. You can't live these years planning for "happiness" later on. Can't build a career in hope of enjoying life later. Can't earn money in the hope of spending it later. Can't embark on a long-term relationship you are not sure of, hoping that things will fall in place. Do what you think is best now - sometimes you'll be right sometimes you'll be wrong. And that is why life if fun! Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Your time is now do what you want to do now, never look ahead more than couple years! And never regret :)
Best wishes.
hmm
Sindhura...whether its a or b.. but YOU WRITE WELL!!!! There could be a c you know where you suddenly realize that its not the 32 or the 64 bits you want to pursue, but your hidden potential-writing..and go on to be our gennext Christie!! you never know!!
Also who is this Anonymous..???
@ Anonymous: Thanks! Will Keep that in mind.
@ Swati: He he :). Honey, going by the frequency of my posts, I'd go bankrupt if I take up writing. Besides, a wise man once told me "Never make your passion your profession. It just fizzles out and then you are only meeting deadlines."
I guess the fact that there is no pressure to have to do it is what makes writing fun :). But appreciation is always welcome. Heck, I write partially for that reason!
oh, and Anonymous is anonymous because the person wants to be anonymous. Not my place to reveal her/his identity :|
you do write well indeed!
and seriously, who is this anonymous?
@Anonymous: Thanks! Your question suggests you are a different anonymous. The first one is a good friend of mine from way back.
RT @rohitj: hmm
:P
Finally some insight into the complicated workings of a woman's mind! :D
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
hmm...the question does apply to everyone, not just indian women; whether you should follow ambition or happiness, or if you can find both (or if you can't find one without the other)
anyway, i was hoping you kinda found your perfect man by now :P
chachi
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