How ambitious is too ambitious?

I realize it has been over a year since my last post. I think of writing every week right when I need to start on the work for the week's meeting with my adviser (this post just happens to be the first successful attempt). Now comes the hard part.

Lemme see..(stop if > 3 pauses)
India Trip (too cliche)
Love life (I'm not the lovey kind)
Friends? (too.. I'm not sure actually. Oh. Right. One word. They Rock. Friends )
pause..
Men (hell, I'm a feminist)
Women (hmm..)
longer pause.....
Career (Rock bottom)
Family (its complicated)
Grad Life (see phdcomics.com)
pause...
Books (haven't finished any worth reading in a while)
Life life (what Life?)
pau. oh I already did 3.

Women it is. Poor you.

Women. Fascinating creatures us :). Anyhow, I've had this piece I have wanted to write for a while now. How ambitious is too ambitious especially when you are a woman and all the usual constraints that come with being an Indian one at that. Add in the eccentricities of being me. And that I'm going through some kind of existential crisis about now.

So, I've been wrestling with my priorities these past few years.

a) Is it right to put the rest of your life on hold till you get to the peak of your career success (if there is one in sight)? And then hope to find Mr.Perfect. You know, let a process run to termination and schedule the next. Setting career as a Hard Real time process and bumping its priority. Average process wait time is baaaad. But you get what you want. Maybe.

b) Or is it just better to live a so called "balanced" life where you get married at a normal age, get a regular job, a regular house with a white picket fence with a dog and a cat and a ferret and whatever. Multiprocessing. Decent overall parameters. But fails as a Real Time system. Hah.

If a is your answer, consider these.

What if you take too long to get where you want to get professionally ?

I think of this when my code doesn't compile and I am fighting a deadline. A friend suggested an easy way out. Marry a millionaire and shop forever :D. Sounds super sometimes. I've even thought of a farmer who will never ever have to write a program in his life. I should be able to manage raising crops and cattle with him I think.

Is it sensible to waste the best years of your youth slogging and then you realize that you have missed out on life?

It is supposedly common thinking that my success is gonna scare off potential suitors. I've heard it said and I quote "Most men like their wives pretty, young and not more smarter than them."

If b is your choice, then

What of some of us who are fundamentally incapable of uttering the c word without shuddering. Or are afraid of a married life. Really, Marriages fail for the stupidest of reasons.

My answer has firmly been a for as long as I can remember. But is that the right choice is a whole different thing altogether.

In the grand scheme of things, is glory all that important? Or is there a compromise I cant think of ?

Any heuristics to optimize my life's throughput ?

Sigh. I need therapy.